Veruca Salt Sells Viagra to Her Parents (The Joys of Being 21)
I’ll admit I’m not prone to enjoying strangers right now. “Yes, her teeth are thicker. You know how she had thin teeth? They are thicker now. Mom, I can’t even begin to tell you what this will do for your life,” she says in a tone that brings to mind Sevngali as played by Veruca [...]
A Battle Between Deepak Kimber and Murda Mike for the Soul of Colony of Losers
Her head is wrapped in a towel that was fashionable back in the days of Mother Teresa. She had the sweet second hand English that comes from immigrating to Canada late in life. “My daughter sent me to get this. You have?” She passes me a piece of paper with the words “Scoppio 2011 Sydney [...]
Multiculturalism, 911, The Genocide of Native Americans, Jewish Conspiracies and My Birthday
This is a small slice of life from the big smoke on my birthday. It involves a moustache racist, a 911 Truther, the genocide of the Native people, jewish media conspiracies and a brief glimpse of our beautiful multi-cultural Canadian heart. “You fucking caused 911!” shouts a Hulk Hogan-esque construction worker with a hard hat [...]
Holy Fuck: Mike Kimber saved the life of a baby dolphin!
Holy fuck! I saved the life of a dolphin. You heard me right. I, Michael Kimber, the man behind Colony of Losers, the maestro of tears and laughter, saved the life of a baby dolphin. You probably don’t believe me and think I have gone off my meds and am concocting a tale to make [...]

